Warning: some readers may find this post disturbing

I have some sad news - this blog will be deliberately inactive until about mid-November. I know that this announcement will come as a great disappointment to some of my fans (don't worry, I'll call you mum), but for the rest of you, there's no need to check back for a couple of months. There will be no posts as I will only have internet access intermittently. Of course, if you don't believe me and you think I am about to post some even unfunnier stuff (or you are slightly obsessive compulsive) feel free to check here every day, or several times a day, just to see whether I am telling the truth (you never know).

But until then, (insert appropriate farewell).
(sorry I just couldn't think of anything)