My Top Five Lowlights - Introduction

As a relatively new blogger, I’m not sure whether a travelogue series written three years after return from travel is socially acceptable, so I’ll apologise immediately. Perhaps you are sick of hearing other people’s absolutely amazing, truly spectacular, once in a lifetime travel stories. If that is the case, then please put aside your bias and bigotry and accept this for what it is – a useless, inane, badly written series of posts about an overseas holiday that I went on three years ago, that will probably waste ten minutes of your life and, depending on your mental, spiritual, social, personal, familial, marital, medical, professional and/or financial status, you may or may not find funny.

However I want to assure you that this series of posts is not going to be a list of how incredible, great, remarkable or (insert clichéd superlative) things are while on overseas holidays. Nor is it a gambler’s travelogue relaying only the wins and highlights, while conveniently leaving out the part where, because of my travelling addiction, I lost my wife, house, kids, dog and the ability to play and sing the blues.

This travelogue will hopefully be exactly the opposite, in that I’ll be recounting over a series of posts, only the lowlights – the top 5, in fact. Now although I’ve had many sleepless nights, concerned endlessly with the semantically correct position of my worst experience, I have decided to go in a numerically descending order. Despite the logic of it, I am finishing with my very best and lowest lowlight at position number one.

Regardless of how to properly order lowlights, it is my hope and prayer that by the end of this blog series, all the people who do enjoy travelling will be glad their holidays are nothing like mine, while all the people who do not enjoy travelling will be glad their holidays are nothing like mine (see the fairness in my plan and its appeal to expert, armchair and abecedarian travellers alike).

Stay tuned for number 5 of my top five lowlights.